Last 30 Days of My Thirties: Blog 4 - Toddler to Teen

In my thirties, my oldest child went from age 3 to 13.  Exhale.... 

 

So much of parenting is winging it, isn't it?  You choose your battles, determine your boundaries, set expectations, and then you really take it as it comes.  Hopefully you have a strong sense of values, a good support network, and a strong relationship with God to help guide your parenting.  There's no right or wrong answer for so many of the dilemmas, conflicts, and forks in the road.

 

In some ways, the issues don't change.  At three, there are hurt feelings by the way their friends and classmates treat them.  Same at thirteen.  At three, they seek the comfort of their mother when they are sick, sad, or hurting.  Same at thirteen. 

One of the hardest parts of parenting, for me, is explaining the evil in the world.  I try to tell her enough to make her vigilant and cautious, but not so much that she is terrified to live her life and be a kid.  She was 8 months old when 9/11 happened, but eventually the time came when I had to explain that to her (as best I could).  Hurricane Katrina, the earthquake in Haiti, tsunamis, and school killings have all impacted her greatly.  Still she asks me how the survivors of these events are doing. 

She can hardly remember when her father and I were together (she was 4 when I dissolution was finalized), which is, in some ways, a blessing.  She has watched me date, break up, suffer a broken heart, and stand up for myself with men.  I hope that, even though I haven't been able to model a marriage for her, that my experiences have taught her something helpful about relationships, conflict, and healing.

 

In short, we've both grown up a lot.  She has taught me and I have taught her.  I have worked hard to instill important values in her and to demonstrate responsibility and compassion.  I love to hate the parts of me I see in her, and I love to see the new directions her life is going where mine has never gone.  In the last decade, I've gone from adoring who she was when she was born...to who she was born to become.