Last 30 Days of My Thirties: Blog 2 - Moolah

A few months into my thirties, my (now ex) husband and I separated, and divorced a couple weeks after my 31^st birthday.  Gratefully, there was no additional stress of arguing about the terms of our dissolution.  We agreed on essentially everything.  We treated each other with fairness and respect despite our differences. 

I was only working part-time when we separated.  I know now that God provides for us in ways we don’t always recognize, and this was one of those times.  Very shortly after we separated, my employer extended an offer to me for full-time employment and I eagerly accepted. 

My parents raised me to spend responsibly, to save, and to be fiscally responsible.  I thank God for this on a regular basis.  At the time I was 16 and working my first job, my Dad required me to tithe 10% of my income to our church, save about 40% of my earnings in a savings account, and I could spend the rest.  Of course, this was irritating.  I had name brand jeans to buy, movies to see, and a gas tank to fill!  But they instilled in me financial discipline and responsibility.

In my thirties, when I became a single mother of two, I relied heavily on this foundation.  I became an expert budget creator and implementer.  Even if it meant a regular rotation of grilled cheese, hot dogs, and mac and cheese, we were living within our means.  Mommy wasn’t spending much on herself in the way of new clothes, purses, shoes, pedicures, etc.  Mommy was supporting two children and trying to hold onto the house they’d known all or most of their lives as “home.”   

A significant recession hit during my thirties, and my salary was reduced.  Again, I turned to my budgeting skills to figure out how to make ends meet.  Things that once seemed mandatory or needed were reclassified as luxurious and merely wanted.  This included the Sunday paper, cable TV, name brand products, and the retirement of my much-loved but impractical Mustang. 

There were many acts of financial kindness during the rougher times though.  My parents would often help out in large and small ways, whether it be taking the kids for a haircut and refusing to be reimbursed, or picking up a “pre-Christmas” new coat the kids needed, or inviting us over to dinner.  I had friends that would babysit for free when I had an appointment.  I once received an anonymous $100 Kroger gift card with a note saying the sender admired the grace with which I handled the difficulties n life.  God continued to look out for me, and I continued to do my part in being responsible and strategic with whatever resources I had. 

But the biggest transformation occurred in my late thirties when I finally decided to truly tithe to my church.  I had always given offerings, but honestly it was only amounts that were comfortable for me and did not put me in any hardship.  I felt good about those chincy offerings.  But my pastor helped me to see that tithing is commanded of us, and is actually a joyful, God-honoring behavior that tremendously helps in building faith and trust in God.  Since I began tithing 14 months ago, my life has changed.  Money has literally shown up when it was most needed, and in the most unexpected ways.  It has changed my life and I will never go back to dropping a twenty here and there in the offering plate.  It's something I want and need to do, and it makes me happy.  Is it possible I'm finally growing up?