Lyrics Girl

I've always been a lyrics girl.  The first thing I do when I buy a CD is open the liner notes to see if the lyrics are printed, and commence to scanning them.  It's like a rich chocolate dessert, I love lyrics and they make or break the song for me.  The instrumentation, as much as I love music, is often secondary in my eyes.

 

Lately, two songs have crossed my path that really resonate with me, and I'm not sure I can put it much better than they can, so I'm simply posting an excerpt of the lyrics and calling it a day.  

 

Another empty promise, good intentions from the start,
You failed to mention, our love would be this hard.
I'm tired of talkin', don't have nothing left to say,
Maybe sometime we'll sift through the ashes one day.

 

I can't lean on you, cause I'll fall right over,
Can't count on you, it doesn't add up.
I see we're through and the truth is pretty sober,
This is going nowhere, enough is enough.

 

The hardest part, in my choice to leave,
Was not quite knowin' what I achieved.
But now I know, I can be stronger on my own,
That's what sleepless nights and only God have shown.

 

I can't lean on you, cause I'll fall right over,
Can't count on you, it doesn't add up.
I see we're through and the truth is pretty sober,
This is going nowhere, enough is enough.

 

I made up my mind I won't have a change of heart
I've removed myself from every single part of you.

 

Eli Young Band "Enough is Enough." 

 

 

 

If you don't treat me better
 Baby, I'll just run away.
Baby, I don't know what drives you
To play these silly games...

C'mon baby I'm much stronger than you know
Sometimes  I'm not afraid to let it show

 

When will you wake up?
I want you more than the stars and the sun
But I can take only so much
Cool on your island
It's so cool on your island

 

I gotta brand new dress made
Could it make you wanna try?
I guess I didn't want to notice
The stars gone from your eyes...

C'mon baby  I'm much stronger than you know
Sometimes  I'm not afraid to let it show

 

When will you wake up?
I want you more than the stars and the sun
But I can take only so much
Cool on your island
It's so cool on your island

 

If you don't treat me better
Baby, I'll just run away
If you don't treat me better
Baby, I'll just run

Tori Amos "Cool on Your Island"

 

Eyes Wide Open

Recently, I took a road trip.  By all appearances, it was just a get away, a chance to visit family without hauling the kids along.  And indeed I did get to spend quality time with several members of my family whom I love and adore and live way too far away from.  But there was more to it than that.  Looking back, I guess it was no accident that a certain date "randomly" popped into my head so many months ago.  I identified that date as a time to take inventory of my life and reevaluate certain things.  For 500 miles I thought and talked out loud and to God.  I sang songs ranging the gamut of emotion.  I took in the scenery.  I talked on the phone.  And for 500 miles on the way back home, I listened. 

 

God has never spoken to me in clear words or phrases.  But if I silence myself and open my mind and my heart, I can feel His nudgings, suggestions, and warnings.  I could hear him on my way back home. Still, I wasn't prepared to immediately act on what I heard.  But I set some things in motion almost as a test - to see what the response would be.  And the silence was deafening. 

 

Some decisions in life are extremely difficult.  Doing the right thing does not often equate with doing the easy thing.  Personally, I take a lot of time to make big decisions.  I marinate on it, roll my thoughts around in my head and ping pong them back and forth, making sure that another angle doesn't appear that I haven't previously considered.  But all the evidence I observed in the days and weeks that followed only amplified what I had heard on that road trip when I decided to just....listen.

 

Personal decision making can be clouded by many things.  I have experienced this time and again in my life.  Maybe it has to do with turning 40 this year.  Maybe I'm seeing life through the lens of age and choosing to trim the proverbial fat from my life.  Maybe it's that my faith has strengthened and grown in my spiritual walk.  Maybe it's the overwhelming evidence that can no longer be ignored.  Whatever it is, I'm blessed in that my difficult decision was made crystal clear to me through all these avenues.  Perhaps that's made it easier to follow through and make peace with it.  Perhaps it's the repeated and frequent reminders and evidence that my choice was the best choice.

 

I find myself starting a new chapter, turning the page.  It's scary in so many ways, but exhilarating in other ways.  It doesn't take much effort to see how very many quality people love me and care about me and will support me no matter what.  And most of all, I can feel God's love wrapped around me, comforting me, supporting me, challenging me, and spurring me on to better, brighter days ahead.  My eyes are wide open. My heart is certain.  My head is clear.