My ex-husband and I separated before our son was one year old. I've been a single mom for almost 12 years. The first night I was alone, I remember thinking how on earth am I going to get 2 children ready and get to work on time? I got up 45 minutes earlier than usual. Mind you - my son couldn't stand or walk, never mind dress or feed himself. My daughter was 3, but still needed heavy "coaching" to dress and feed herself.
Now I find myself the parent of a 15 year old and 12 year old. It's like a whole new journey. I have given so much, thought and planned so much, worked so hard, sacrificed endless things, and tried so very hard to be all the parent that they need. My custody arrangement went from almost 50/50 to 95/5. It's a thankless job at many times, and that's tough to take. Teens will be teens, they will say hurtful things, be selfish, and break your heart right in two. It's hard not to take it personally.
Over the years, there have been lots of ups and downs. I'm blessed that my parents are nearby and very committed to helping me however and whenever they can. I've had 3 serious relationships in 12 years that eventually gave me a confidante, helping hands, and someone to talk to about my parenting struggles. Just nothing that was worth my return on investment, and all became liabilities rather than assets, so I wrapped them up and cut my losses.It's hard to not have a co-parent to talk to about it, to "talk me off the ledge" when needed and to validate my efforts and encourage me to persevere. On the positive side, it's forced me to lean on God more and more - which is the way it always should have been. It's just hard because I can't always discern or hear God's response. I don't know when I'm headed down the right road.
Over the years, there have been lots of ups and downs. I'm blessed that my parents are nearby and very committed to helping me however and whenever they can. I've had 3 serious relationships in 12 years that eventually gave me a confidante, helping hands, and someone to talk to about my parenting struggles. Just nothing that was worth my return on investment, and all became liabilities rather than assets, so I wrapped them up and cut my losses.It's hard to not have a co-parent to talk to about it, to "talk me off the ledge" when needed and to validate my efforts and encourage me to persevere. On the positive side, it's forced me to lean on God more and more - which is the way it always should have been. It's just hard because I can't always discern or hear God's response. I don't know when I'm headed down the right road.
At times, all I can do is hope and pray that someday they will see and appreciate all that I did for them, to keep them clothed and fed, to keep them in the same home they've always known, to bring them smiles and wipe their tears, and to encourage them to be good citizens, good Christians, and to be true to themselves. I guess that's all that any parent can do - single or not.
