A God-shaped Hole

I had a great talk with my pastor the other day.  We got to talking about relationships, and about how we sometimes expect one another, especially our significant others, to fill up all of our empty spaces and to be predominantly responsible for our happiness.  When we find ourselves unhappy, it is easy to blame our partner in life for doing something wrong, doing it too much, or not doing it at all.  Or if we don’t have a partner, we can blame that too.

I’m guilty of it.  Not consciously doing it.  The problem is that, as he put it, we all have a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only God can fill.  And if I try to put something or someone else in that place, it doesn’t fit, and there are “air pockets” and I continue to feel unfulfilled.  I focus my energy and efforts on the things in my life that are in place and I expect more and more of them, but it is all in vain.  Only God can fill up that space perfectly and fulfill me.  If I let Him in. 

It’s easy to make idols of other things and people in our lives: careers, children, partners, belongings, addictions, earnings, hobbies…  But the people who advise that “you can’t make someone else happy until you’re truly happy” have a point.   And yet,  I can’t be your savior any more than you can be mine.  I will inevitably fail you.  When you tell me you’re addicted to me, it’s cute for a milli-second, but then it’s pathetic and concerning. 

I have found myself pushing God aside when something consuming enters my life – whether it is a good or bad "something".  It’s time for me to be more aware of the God-shaped hole in my heart.  It’s time for me to let that hole be filled as it was intended.  Whether that be worshipping (not just at church), studying scripture, dialoguing with others, praying, or just making the conscious effort to leave my heart open to God, it has to be done intentionally and purposefully. 

I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting, needing, and even relying on other things and people in this world.  I think it’s natural in fact.  To a point.  But I know I must remember their place in the big picture, and set my expectations accordingly.  I am responsible for pursuing, finding, and maintaining my own happiness, regardless of the events, people, and relationships around me.  Easier said than done?  Absolutely.  Possible?  Let’s find out.