Iron Sharpens Iron/Faithful Are the Wounds

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

~Proverbs 27:17

Who do you surround yourself with?  Are they people you respect?  People you admire?  Do they have qualities you wish to cultivate and improve within yourself?  Are they comfortable to be with because they rarely push you, challenge you, or call you out when you are making questionable decisions?  When friends do point out your shortcomings, are you mostly annoyed or are you genuinely interested in taking their opinion into consideration?

It's been my experience that the most amazing people I meet are always affiliated with other amazing people.  And the most lackluster, lost individuals I've met - while they may have a couple of admirable folks in their life - are by and large hanging with a crowd that is less than amazing and awe-inspiring.  Or they are hanging alone...

A friend recently thanked me for being honest and candid with him as we discussed a personal dilemma he was facing.  He wrote in an e-mail "faithful are the wounds."  I looked this up, knowing I'd heard the phrase before and found:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

~Proverbs 27:6

It's so true.  When quality people who truly care for us step in and speak up about our behavior, they know darn well it is going to hurt for us to hear it.  They do it anyway.  Why?  Because they want to see us grow.  They want to see us succeed in life. They don't want to enable us or placate us.  "The kisses of an enemy" are plentiful.  It's easy to listen to someone blame everyone but themselves for all that's wrong in their life, occasionally muttering "yeah man, that sucks!  You got screwed!"  The hard thing is to muster up some courage and challenge someone to reflect on the ways they might have contributed to their own condition.  The hard choice is moving from pity to action while brainstorming the next steps needed to make progress in life.  Which type of person is a good boss?  a good parent?  a respected leader?  Which one is a fantastic spouse?

In my experience, when someone provides constructive criticism about my behavioral choices, it is not usually without some grain of truth.  Once I get past my ego and pride and even my hurt feelings, I generally come to see that their words were well-intended and their advice is worth considering.  And I become a better person for it.

Let me take a minute to dismiss the case of the emotional abuser who attacks your character and your actions for selfish or cruel reasons, or out of jealousy.  Spend no time reflecting on those.  :)  That person is not the "iron" spoken of in Proverbs and their intent is not to help you grow, nor is love their motivation.

I can't think of a single person I've encountered in this life who had no potential.  In my eyes, everyone has redeeming qualities.  Everyone has strengths.  Everyone has potential.  The challenge I'm posing is to ask yourself if you're living up to your potential or if you are staying comfy.

"Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you;

be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them."

~W. Clement Stone

“We begin to see, therefore,

the importance of selecting our environment with the greatest of care,

because environment is the mental feeding ground

out of which the food that goes into our minds is extracted.”

~Napoleon Hill

“Be a yardstick of quality.

Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”

~Steve Jobs