I’ve never been one who is comfortable in the gray areas of life. I like things to be black and white, well-defined, with boundaries and labels attached. While I’m capable of being spontaneous, I’m mostly a person who plans and prepares as much as possible. Wikipedia states that: “Two colors are called complementary colors if grey is produced when they are combined (in the light spectrum, but as in art it produces brown with paints usually). Grey is its own complement. Consequently, grey remains grey when its color spectrum is inverted, and so has no opposite, or alternately is its own opposite.” Its own complement? Has no opposite? Then how is it defined? I’m one who likes to define things by their opposite. But opposites involve extremes, and when we are dealing with gray, we are dealing with neutrality and being squarely in the middle.
Sometimes in life, we go through periods where we cannot find answers nor reasons. Or even in the presence of answer and reason, we remain in a conundrum. That’s where I reside right now. It’s uncomfortable and restless and maddening, but I’ve got to find a way to get comfortable here, until I drift closer to one end of the spectrum or the other. I’m hanging out with myself and letting the thoughts, questions, and feelings come. I refuse to force myself to make decisions when my head, heart, and gut are not in synergy with one another. And so I idle. Not exactly laying any roots down, but sort of wandering about aimlessly, taking comfort where I can, celebrating baby steps forward and tolerating backward slips and slides.
I am. I feel. And I don’t have to finish those sentences. They’re complete as is, even if not optimal for a black and white labeler and planner like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment