no "but"s

I am a lucky woman in that I have had the opportunity to be a part of many romantic relationships in my life.  I realized a long time ago that no matter how good a romance seemed in the moment, the cold hard truth was that it was either going to end or last forever.  "Forever" is not a word that I can fully comprehend.  Obviously I've not yet experienced forever, but you know what I mean.  I've been promised the moon, the stars, and even unconditional love and promises of forever, but the fact remains that my legal salutation is "Ms." and even if it were "Mrs." or if I was in a dedicated lifetime partnership (choosing to forego marriage), there are simply no guarantees.

With the ending of each relationship, I realized I knew a little bit more about what I wanted in a partner, and perhaps more importantly, what I did not want in a partner.  For instance, a mate with ambition and drive is great, but if they want to put me in a cage they are going to be disappointed with the outcome.  Finding someone with electric physical chemistry is lovely, but if they can't engage in an intellectual conversation with me I'm going to eventually become blinded to their more superficial traits.  A person I can laugh with is not going to meet all my needs if they can't be responsible in life.  Becoming a parent only muddied the post-divorce dating waters further (as if finding someone with whom you are supremely compatible isn't difficult enough), because it became essential to find someone who also could properly love my children and whom my children could love. 

I find myself in this particular moment in time feeling happy, satisfied, content, and at peace in my romantic relationship.  For the first time in my life, there are no "but"s - no red flags that nag at me, no unanswered questions that beg to be more closely examined, no issues I'm sweeping under the carpet in fear that I won't do better than this. 

I can't predict the future or make any guarantees, but living in a "no but" moment with a "no but" person is extremely liberating, rejuvenating, energizing, and it awakens a deep peace within me.