painkillers

There is aching pain and there is stabbing pain.  A dull ache can go on and on and really weave itself nicely into daily life without causing too much of a disruption.  But that sharp, stabbing pain can't be ignored.  It's the kind of pain that changes who you are.  The good thing is that it can't go on too long - a person couldn't survive that intensity of pain on an ongoing basis for a long period of time.  I was in labor for over 30 hours, but at least there was a brief reprieve between contractions!  Inevitably, time begins to slowly, slowly heal us.  The progress can be barely discernible.

After you bury that pain and cover it up, you can go for long periods of time almost forgetting it is there.  But sooner or later, it sprouts and works its way up through the dark soil.  It springs forth at the most inopportune times, like a perennial on a warm February day when the risk of winter is far from over. 

Today was a day like that.

The question becomes "what is your painkiller"?  Are you turning to things that numb your pain, like your drug of choice (legal or not), alcohol, time at the gym, or even distracting social plans set in place to make you have a rowdy time so as not to think of your pain?  Are you using people as the soil that covers up that deeply buried pain?  Or are you allowing yourself to feel it, to cry, to hurt and flail?  Are you turning to God and asking him to fill the holes in your heart?  Are you surrounding yourself with quality people?  Are you giving to anyone or anything or are you just waiting to receive?

I guarantee that your choice of painkiller will be directly correlated to your healing process.  Some are fast, but temporary.  Some are slow, but long-lasting.  Some are shallow, and some are deep.  We all know the answers in our hearts.  We all know what the best choices are.  We just have to make them.