Some people have a hard time talking about death - especially their own. I don't. I have been thinking about my funeral since I was an adolescent. I used to help myself drift off to sleep by imagining what people at my funeral might say as they filed past my body. Is that sick and twisted? Maybe, but it's a true story! You see, it matters a great deal to me - what people would say about me, my life, and my impact on others...how I would be memorialized, etc. I guess you could argue that it doesn't matter and that I'll already be gone, but just humor me and allow me the fantasy of thinking you people are listening to my wishes. :)
I asked my brother a long time ago to sing an acoustic version of Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" at my funeral, like Jeannie Boulet did on that episode of "ER". Not much rattles him, so of course he said yes, but pointed out that he could be in his 80s or 90s and not in great shape himself, maybe even with false teeth and in a wheelchair. I said I didn't really care because I wouldn't be there to hear it or see it, and to please just do it.
I want it to be loud, with LOTS of music. Lots of Tori Amos and Prince, because they were the two musicians who moved me the most. And my love for country music doesn't appear to be a passing phase, like gangsta rap was in college, so include lots of country. TONS of pictures, from my childhood days to high school (could we please skip the awkward age 10 - 16 period?), college, young adulthood, becoming a mother, etc. Capture some of the amazing people I knew and loved, as well as some of the amazing things I got to be a part of. Go ahead and play episodes of Three's Company in the background too.
And please....LAUGH!!! I want there to be a never-ending line of friends walking to the front of the church, sharing stories of things we laughed at together. I want my parents to tell the Raisin Thief story. I want Rodney to tell The Poopie Ball story and share how much we loved movies like Boomerang, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and Christmas Vacation! I want my Skyline coworkers to share stories from our incentive trips to Cancun (Canadians don't burn), Jamaica (no we did NOT kiss), and the Dominican Republic (what does a gal have to do to get a drink around here?). I want Jen to reminisce about our time in undergrad together and at Buckeye tailgates through the years. I want my family in Virginia to make fun of me as the only city girl in the family, and talk about my experiences with go-carts, moonshine, four-wheelers, rifles, and yes, frog egg necklaces. I want them to call me Little Doris again. I want Guy & Dale to talk about our vacations to Gatlinburg and to WV. You get the idea.
But mostly, I want whomever is in my life at that time to be exuberantly joyful about where I've gone. I want them to celebrate me home. Hopefully they will realize that all of my burdens have been lifted, my pain has been erased, my doubts have been silenced, my energy has been replenished, and my wounds have been healed. For all the times I might have said "Doing the right thing doesn't pay off!" they will realize that it did, in fact, pay off. Now, make no mistake - I feel I have a lot of business left to do here on earth, namely raising my two children into the most successful, decent, ethical, and compassionate adults they can be. But when my time comes, I want those who knew and loved me to celebrate. I know I will be.
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