Generally speaking, my head and heart come together when I am faced with a difficult decision. In the rare instances that they conflict with one another, this Pisces tends to let her heart cast the deciding vote. So in a moment when my head and heart are not in harmony, and my head makes the decision, I am heartsick and I feel off balance, amiss, discordant…
I launch a lot of “what if”s and “if only”s only to see my head shaking with a firm but gentle, “No.” It’s a bit like parenting myself. My heart keeps doing the “but maybe we could just….” only for my head to interrupt and repeat the final decision yet again. Hearts have a way of continuing to dream, of getting lost in flight and imagining the way it would feel if they could have it their way.
It’s hard to hold on to a dream for so long, and then to have all the pieces of the proverbial puzzle come into place, only to realize that the dream isn’t going to come true. I use all the typical rationale about how blessed I already am, and to close the door on one dream isn’t the end of all dreams. I get that. I know it. I recite it. But dreams take hold deep in your heart, and one dream cannot be a substitute for another. Sure, being surrounded by blessings and love and support certainly lightens any blow that you experience, but I’m not going to pretend that this dream never existed and that it will quietly go away without leaving its mark on my heart. No, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just the end of a dream.
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