And one to grow on...

As I look back on this past year of my life, this is what I see:

• I lost someone who meant the world to me and who promised to love me forever.  Six weeks before our wedding date, he did some horrible things that stunned me and broke my heart as it has never been broken before.  I still haven't recovered completely and am not sure I ever will.
• I took on the difficult responsibility of becoming the sole custodian of my two children.
• I exhausted myself by adding a part-time job to my long list of responsibilities.
• I struggled with heath problems, had life-changing surgery, and am concerned about ongoing testing and diagnoses.
• I lost a friend to suicide.
• I've lost touch with some friends in my life.
• I'm spread too thin, running my kids to sports practices & games, music lessons, scout meetings, and church activities.

As I look back on this past year of my life, this is what I see:

• God intervened in my life and stopped me from making a big mistake.  I'm learning more and more about what I do and don't want in a partner. 
• I've been blessed to grow closer with my children than ever and to guide their lives in a positive direction.
• I was given a fabulous opportunity to earn additional income for my family and to meet some amazing women.
• I am healthier than ever, now that I've stopped smoking and have increased my physical exercise.  I have access to world-class health care facilities and physicians and have fantastic insurance coverage.
• I gained a new appreciation and value for my own life and realized that - as our preacher said today - "if I'm not dead, I'm not done".  God has a plan and a purpose for my life, even if I sometimes am tempted to quit on everyone around me.
• I've gained new friends that challenge me, inspire me, make me laugh, and encourage me to grow.
• My children are developing talents & interests they are passionate about, and I'm able to support their involvement.  I've also found a church I can call home for the first time in many years, and I look forward to attending worship and bible study there each week.

Both lists are true, and both are about me.  Attitude is everything.  I won't lie - sometimes hurt, pain, stress, and worry occupy my heart and mind.  But I try more and more to live on the other side of the coin, choosing to see the positive in my present circumstances, and inviting God to come in and fill those empty spaces, to soothe those worries, and to give peace when I don't understand. 

"Well, still...pretty good year." :)