From time to time, I realize that my attitude toward graciousness and courteousness is the exception, not the norm. When did we all become so self-absorbed and rude that we stopped extending basic gestures of class? Are there people who actually don’t know what RSVP means? It means someone needs and wants to know whether you plan to attend an event they are taking the time to orchestrate. It means it might impact what they how much they are going to spend or how intensively they will prepare for the event. Quite literally, it’s répondez , s’il vous plait (respond please). “No” is a completely acceptable response. But far too often, people either don’t respond at all – not even thanking the inviter for the invitation – or they say they will be present, but fail to show up or even bother to notify the inviter – what with all the available technology – that they will not be attending as planned.
I spoke with someone about this phenomenon today. It’s all a part of the entitlement mentality I see so often and the self-importance we as a society wear as a skin tight garment. It disgusts me and I’m so glad my parents raised me better.
What happened to the hand-written thank you note? I interview people quite often in my position, and am always disappointed and surprised to see how few take the time to follow up with a thank you note for my time and interest. Am I the only one who makes her kids sit down within a week of receiving a birthday present and write the sender a thank you note?
I will never forget my daughter’s birthday party a few years ago. I couldn’t afford to do much, but had planned a small party at Jo-Ann Fabrics where she and a few friends could each build a stuffed bear craft, much like a Build-A-Bear. I could only afford to invite 4 or 5 friends. Two said they would be there, and the others did not respond at all. Yes it was a snowy Saturday, but it was my little girl’s birthday. And when not one single child showed up and no one called to cancel or RSVP no, I cannot impress upon you my sadness, disappointment, and dread for what my daughter was thinking and feeling in the time she spent waiting and hoping that someone would walk through the door for her.
So this is my open letter to the world. When someone extends an invitation because they are requesting your presence somewhere, take two seconds to let them know if you’re interested or if you plan to attend. And when you give someone your word, let that mean something. Sure, things come up and plans change. Nobody expects you to make a call if you're late on account of getting injured in a car accident. But folks, it doesn’t take long to extend the courtesy of letting someone know you can’t keep your word. And by the way, saying no is perfectly acceptable. Don’t be afraid to do it. You don’t even have to make up a lie as to why you are saying no. Just say no and be comfortable with it. And don’t forget, the day may come when no one bothers to invite you to anything at all. And I hope you won’t wonder why.
No comments:
Post a Comment